Funny statements on commercial products:

Bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside"
(The shoplifter special)

Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost"
(just a suggestion)

Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down."
(Too late)

Children's Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
medication"
(Good idea for most kids)

Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping"
(Okay)

Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(What's left?)

Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious)

Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."

American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta)

Child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of the garment does not enable you to fly."
(Lawyers wrote that one)