It feels like the end of an era - I'm switching blogs! Check out my new one, here. Update your bookmarks! I'm also keeping a separate theater one, which you can get to from my personal blog, Saturday Matinee.

enjoy. comments, suggestions, gripes welcome.

on today's menu:

jamba juice with an immune boost
zicam three times
an emergen-C packet
theraflu in a piping hot hug mug

I really hope I don't get sick.

I decided to have dinner tonight with three professors after all tonight. Being the commitmentphobe that I am, I told my professor that I was on the fence til about an hour before we left. My brain was feeling fuzzy with a bit of a fever anyways, but I ended up sucking it up and just went. It ended up going pretty well - I didn't understand all the science that they were talking about, but I asked a few questions that sparked long discussions so I learned a lot. The best part was an expensive bottle of red wine and a really great seared ahi tuna.

It's still fairly nerve wracking. ;) I'm definitely glad it's over, but it's good to try to do something that is easy to weasle out of. It'll be easier next time since it won't be my first time.

J the other grad student in the lab, he likes to tease me by saying that I'm the favorite in the lab. haha. I really wish J came with me to the dinner. I could have used a student buffer.

The end of a busy week is finally here. Work will get easier once I get used to learning these new techniques.

school mass emails

from my inbox:

"One more thing, there will be pizza provided with the sex ed talk tomorrow.
What could be better?"

think that's a rhetorical question? ^^ ah i have to say, mass emails from med school are often very entertaining.

i found myself standing in line at trader joe's with a case of chocolate, a bottle of gewürztraminer, coffee, and a box of altoids. am i really such a walking stereotype??

watched light in the piazza in the midst of friends. it's odd - i can't put my finger on know what it is about this musical, but i always get swept up in the humble yet epic-like love story.

work finally picked up today - i'm SO relieved. i definitely function better when things are crazy busy, compared to being completely bored. i'm running my own western! my first one. i managed to avoid doing one in college b/c I had an amazing genius lab partner; for the first time in my life, i was in a lab partnership where I didn't have to do all the work. in one project, he decided to run the western, and I did the easier ELISA assay. currently, i believe he is a superstar surgeon at ucsf. thanks k. ^^

I had dinner with two friends tonight. it's interesting how friends can sometimes be a mirror into my own life, making me see things that I never would have seen on my own in what's going on in my heart that I wasn't aware of. I am so lucky.

unconscious fears
pentup tears
the core of your true self
the fear of 5 minutes with myself in silence
afraid of what i will see and what will ensue

grace makes more sense now

dinner at a fusion sushi restaurant where the happy hour special ran all night, and desserts at the retro and homey rick's dessert diner, which was very cute and so out of place in a place like sacramento. ;) check out their extensive menu. i had their caramel napoleon. yum. the best part was spending time with a close group of friends that we hadn't seen in a long time, drinking appletinis and eating off of each other's plates at the dessert diner.

i ran across a really interesting article in the LA times, thanks to a link on one of my favorite websites, thewinger. USC is opening a new center specific for "dance medicine", which I think is a fascinating idea. It's designed to target populations of dancers of all expertise, ice skaters, and cheerleaders. this population encompasses two of my favorite hobbies, dance and ice skating! Not cheerleading, I'm afraid ;), unless it's cheerleading members of my lab for their experiments to work.

i've been thinking a lot about my future and which specialty i should accomplish as a doctor. I'm currently watching my med school classmates go through the residency match hell right now, and it's disappointing when people end up with their 10th choice, or don't match at all, leaving them for the dreaded scramble. it really makes me think about picking a good residency in which I'll do what I love, as well as avoid living in places like the Appalachian mountains or Detroit. My ultimate dream would be to somehow work with dancers - I don't think I could survive being surrounded by orthopaedic surgeons for the duration of residency, but maybe something else? I know it's hard to do anything else and not feel like a pawn of the orthopods, but if it meant that I could work with dancers, it might be worth it.

for some reason, the past few days i've been running across multiple stories of injured dancers lately. they struggle through a tough time in such a short span of their professional career, where time is really of the essence, and often the resources are scarce. these stories really inspire me to do something to change and to help the system. a few stories here - a funny one here, and three dancers on thewinger.

the article also mentions how they made doctors don leotards and try a dance class. hilarious. i would pay money to see some of my classmates (fred? hehe) and some of my medical school professors do this.

"Pfeffer's passion for dance medicine grew from his experience as a junior member of the cardiothoracic team involved in famed choreographer George Balanchine's heart surgery nearly three decades ago.

"I held George Balanchine's heart in my hand," he said. "My job was to hold his heart very, very still while the main surgeon did the bypass surgery."

Afterward, Pfeffer and Balanchine talked in the intensive care unit.

"One night, he was comparing doctors and dancers and how they express their knowledge in different ways," Pfeffer recalled. "He said, 'Never minimize the intelligence of a dancer who uses his or her body to teach us such great things.' I remember thinking, 'One day, I'm going to take care of dancers.'

Sounds "corny," he mused, "but there are some things in life that play out that way. "


article here

i often wonder, do i ultimately want to be a dance doctor so i could get free dance tickets? that would be a nice perk.

connection

making a connection with a stranger that moved me with his words. a shared pain gives me hope of humanity in this ignorant world.

the internet is a funny thing. it can reveal people's most intimate thoughts, and reveal so much of your soul that even some of your friends don't even know. on the flip side, you can feel like you know someone simply by reading their blog. an unexpected result of a selective exhibitionism.

maybe you can tell a lot about a person by what they choose to reveal to the world?

a shortbus encounter and a little bit of marriage

my last theater event was today - for the next few days, at least. ;) probably going to head out to SF to check out the SF ballet again soon tho, their program 5 is ending this week. i've always wanted to see fancy free.


ABT's Fancy Free with angel corella, jose manuel carreno, and ethan stiefel.

today, i went to see the play, twelve angry men on tour, with george wendt from cheers fame. it was a really good play, but so unrealistic! if people are fighting so hard to defend their stance, they would never change their mind. anyways, brought back bad memories of my nightmare jury room experience. the acting in the play was superb. i'm falling quickly in love with the genre of plays, which is a fairly new genre of theater for me.

the best part was meeting alan mandell, whom I recognized as the ex-mayor of New York in Shortbus. i passed by the stage door and saw him there, looking around for his sister. he was so glad to know that I was a shortbus fan and took time to talk to me. he said the most disappointing part about the movie was that the director wouldn't let him be in the orgy scenes. ^^ he said that jay was very very sweet and everyone was really fun to work with. he was asking me if i bought the dvd and saw the outtakes - apparently a few of his scenes got cut, and I think he was wondering what was in the outtakes.

i also caved and bought the Company revival CD as I was driving home from the Josh Bell concert. I blame the postconcert traffic, which forced me right by a place to buy CD's. oh and perfect timing, this CD got reviewed by the SF chronicle today. this song is sung by the thrilling raul esparza.



"Marry me a little,
Love me just enough.
Cry, but not too often,
Play, but not too rough.

Make a few demands
I'm able to fulfill.
Want me more than others,
Not exclusively.
That's the way it ought to be.
I'm ready!
I'm ready now!

Marry me a little,
Body, heart, and soul.
Passionate as hell
But always in control."


raul esparza - he's so cute!

p.s. thanks to jenniferehle.blogspot.com for a link to my blog. i'm a bit embarrassed b/c i didn't even see COU and had the hardest time finding tickets.

joshua bell and vivaldi's four seasons




i got another chance to see the amazing joshua bell. i saw him last year in a recital setting. this time, he was with the legendary academy st. martin in the fields, where he led them in vivaldi's four seasons.

for quite a while, i've been trying to put my finger on the musical style of joshua bell. i know that he's very musical, but in a much more unexpected way. for me, the ultimate musician in terms of musicality is yo yo ma - a cellist whose heartwrenching musicality is always so moving. he's always a joy to listen to. but josh bell is so different - definitely musical, but not so much in an emotional way, but in a more of a clean, fresh, new way that engages your brain. yo yo ma can move you to tears, but joshua bell makes you sit up and lean forward. Bell makes you hear a very trite passage (like the entire four seasons) in a very new way. I've heard the four seasons millions of times in my life, and tonight, i heard new submelodies i've never heard before, or another way of playing a passage by placing subtle accents in a unique way. bell's talent truly lies not only in his clean fresh style, but also in studying the piece of music before him and presenting it well to the audience.

josh bell was "conducting" and playing the violin solo both at the same time, conducting mostly through his body movements. this multitasking is more tenuous and difficult; in addition to the monstrous intricacies of the solo violin part, this really requires that a group listen and follow well. there was a moment in the summer movement when josh bell wasn't so clear on one of the passages and i felt the whole ensemble falling apart for a scary few seconds. but the harpischord and the bass really came in well by compensating and then keeping the beat together. i was really impressed with the professionalism of the academy of st. martin in the fields. their sound also sounds like one unit, not a group of separate entities.

i can't help feeling that their performance here is a rehearsal for their performance tomorrow in SF. oh well. i hope he comes back again next year.

just got back from my trip to NY! what a whirlwind, i had such a fabulous time. there's so much to blog about, but due to my late night, will keep it short to one topic: celebrity sightings! my first one was at the night we went to see Spring Awakening on Monday. We were waiting in line to enter the theater, when a tall orange giant cut in front of us to enter the theater - it was david hasselhoff! proof here.

second sighting was at the stage door for coast of utopia, which we passed by on our way out of the met opera. there, we saw ethan hawke and billy crudup. ethan hawke is... odd. not very socially comfortable, but perhaps it was unfair since he just got out of a show. he was nice enough to take picture with us tho and explain (sort of) his character (i didn't see the show teehee). we chatted with billy crudup right after meeting ethan, and we had a really funny interesting chat with him. he was so much more sociable than ethan hawke- very kind and very funny. it wasn't long tho, since his mom was there. ^^

this morning, i was going to end my trip in NY with a nice brunch with ricotta pancakes at sarabeth's with jen and jay, when alec baldwin and his brother, stephen baldwin, walks in. alec looks exactly the same as in my favorite show, 30 rock! he was wearing a suit too, just like the show. he had puffy eyes tho, and looked like he had just gotten up. his brother stephen is much shorter, and had a backwards baseball cap and raybans on - it took me a while to recognize him. i was looking forward to seeing 30 rock tonight, so i could say that i saw him this morning and now he's on tv. but unfortunately it's not playing tonight for some reason.

it's so funny how I always see celebrities now whenever i go to NY.

which broadway shows do these lines come from? (jen, you're not allowed to answer!)

1. "You look like David Hasselhoff"
2. "{beep} Mark Cohen - Alexi Darling - Labor Day weekend- In East Hampton- On the beach- Just saw Alec Baldwin- Told him you say hi- Just kidding"

my week is almost over!! i've been working like a madwoman so that I wouldn't feel as guilty about my vacation starting on Friday. I'm SO ready to par-tay! After giving four talks and lots of scientific failures, just ready to forget about it for a few days.

it's so bad, I'm feeling a little bit of Jersey Boys withdrawal. Going to check out the broadway cast next week, along with my usual marathon of broadway (i know you're excited, sarah. get pumped. and be prepared.). It's going to be weird to compare the two casts.

i got my hair cut today. i thought my bangs were a bit long while she was cutting them, b/c i hate cutting them myself (they always look funky) so I asked to have them shorter, and now they look too short! almost dumb and dumber short. ALMOST. hopefully they'll grow by friday. ;) it'll teach me not to open my mouth next time. i admit i know very little about hair.

my classmates are buzzing with anticipation for match day. i can't imagine being in the middle of that right now - i mean, being LOCKED into a spot and a location for the next few years of my life. oh wait, that's me now. ;)

coffee ice cream in my freezer. yum.

ack, just killed a lot of time on youtube and myspace. youtube really is amazing. just discovered an SF Ballet corps member who has his own youtube account! I love rehearsal footage.

i'm also amazed by how much time i can spend on myspace, and I'm also shocked by the amount of times that my friends update their account. i probably log on for a few days, and then won't log in for another two to three months. my profile pic has stayed the same forever.

wow this entry has no point.

according to tv guide, patti lupone is going to appear on ugly betty, as marc's mother! that's going to be really fun to watch.



jason mraz singing, "the beauty in ugly (ugly betty anthem)"



a sunny saturday. grateful for the free day to spend at home, cleaning house and doing my taxes.

ok, i thought i was bad: this makes me feel a mixture of relief (that i'm not the craziest one out there) as well as a sense of envy (that i wish i could reach this sort of achievement). check out these guys - i dream that i could strive to achieve their greatness! (as well as the depth of their pockets and the time that they have to pursue these dreams)

i've counted, and i've been to a measly five shows since the new year (white christmas, lang lang, san francisco ballet program 2, jersey boys, and sf ballet in sleeping beauty). however, it's been two shows in the past week. ;) maybe three by the end of this weekend. hehe

how many shows have you seen since the new year?


edited to add: funny how i'm not the only one to feel self conscious about my theater habits! also, my buddy while waiting in line at Jersey Boys, is not only rushing this weekend and next weekend, but also bought full price tickets in april.

good theater is, truly, food for my soul - the stuff that stirs my heart. there is no substitute for high quality theater.

possible snow showers tomorrow~ that would be amazing. much better than the dreary cold rain we've been getting. maybe i'll wear my hat tomorrow.

in my biased pro-broadway opinion, dreamgirls is the most overlooked movie of 2007. i do understand that a lot of people are going to hate this movie, or not appreciate it. however, my thoughts mirrors dan's exactly. "Dreamgirls was not perfect. Lots of weird editing, the lip syncing didn't match the songs sometimes, some of the songs were cheesy. But then, there were moments when I literally became short of breath. The way Beyonce' would stare out of the screen, or Jennifer Hudson would give the slightest roll of her eyes--perfect. Brilliant performances, Eddie Murphy and Jamie Foxx and everyone all around. You forgive the film's flaws. I wish all movies were this big."

last night, how could you not vote for any of the dreamgirls songs, as the best song of the year? their performance at the oscars was breathtaking. for once, it was satisfying to see beyonce sing backup! muhaha. having said that, her solo in "Listen" was probably the best i've *ever* seen her sing.

happy monday, everyone. having a hard time getting out of my chair to prepare to go to work.

i gave my last talk yesterday~! it's such a relief, i notified my lab that i'm now going into retirement and will not give a talk for a year. thanks to bt for coming!! you really made my day.

in order to celebrate, i decided to treat myself to a trip to the city. it's so nice i have weekends free to do this. it's crazy, but decided to rush for the jersey boys show in SF. i saw it once already, but it was in previews and wanted to see it really up close. ah. i've been pretty good about keeping my obsessions with broadway lately, but i feel the obsession coming on again. i stood in the crazy rush line - i updated my ipod and was prepared to read for a few hours, but met this fun girl who was just as obsessed with broadway as i was. :) talking to her about it also reminded me of how exciting broadway is. during the show, it was fun when one of the four main characters smiled and winked at me while singing to me. hehe. I guess that's what happens when you're in the front row. I met him briefly afterwards, who thanked me for allowing him to flirt with me. so cute. ok i'm gushing again.

i also got to meet up with friend whom i haven't seen in a while. she is my idea of superwoman. she's a supersmart ucsf opthalmology resident, we got to catch up on our personal lives. dating is not always easy, but i really admire how she stands up to what she knows she needs, and is honest about her feelings as well. a perfect balance of head and heart. she is my heroine. it was fun sharing jersey boys with her as well - we watched wicked together last year.

i found this very entertaining.

» Quiz Results

Which Grey's Anatomy Character Are You? created by Austin_Bookheimer Your Results: Meredith You're smart and hard working, but whether it's dating drama or family stress, you don't have an easy life. In fact, sometimes it seems like you can't choose a good guy, no matter how hard you try. But, like Meredith, you don't give up. You're determined that no matter what else is going on in your life, you'll focus on your school work and most of the time you do. Give yourself credit for how far you've come, and when it comes to love, look for a guy who'll give you the attention and respect you deserve.

is the absence of repulsion, attraction?

my new year

it was over 80 degrees in socal yesterday. my legs saw sunshine for the first time since fall, and my mom reacted to its whiteness. teehee.

spending some time at home. it's been a good down time, before the two talks i'll be giving this week. the second talk is an hour long, but comes with free pizza and beer. hopefully it'll keep everyone happy.

lent starts this week. i've never observed it before, but for some reason, i feel like my year has definitely been off to a rocky start, and need to refocus myself on my priorities. and as my friend says, we're allowed to make new year's resolutions on chinese new year's. ^^ truth be told, i was inspired by a featured series of articles in time out new york magazine, which i am receiving in my mail weekly now, in which at the beginning of the new year, six new yorkers gave up a convenience or a behavior. This article inspired me to do the same, mostly because I spend too much time and money in this activity. I am going to concurrently read a book to help me focus at least this one part of my life, on my priorities.

i really hope i don't sound preachy or legalistic, because i am the last person to think i'm going to be good at this, but maybe i'll encourage someone else to make a commitment to better themselves in some small way.


"I am the LORD your God... Open your mouth wide and I will fill it." -Psalm 81:10

but how can God fill our mouths, if our mouths are already full?

happy valentine's day, everyone. hope it's a sweet one.



from dreamgirls. my current song of the moment.