quesadilla mercedes, at alfonso's, my dad's favorite restaurant while he was a medical student at ucsd. named mercedes after alfonso's wife, because "she's the best". 

 

devonshire cream pavlova, at extraordinary desserts, a definite stop in san diego every time we're there. owner went to cordon bleu, has the most wonderful concoctions, as you can see the two times i went during the two days i was in SD. :) 

 

beef carapaccio at arrivederci, an italian restaurant in hillcrest 

isaac mizrahi's cashmere is out...!

working like mad these days, mostly out of guilt that nothing's really working. I stayed at lab til about 1 am yesterday. it's a bit scary but I found that as long as I don't see a clock, I'm ok b/c I don't know how late it is.

san diego tomorrow, here I come! i can't wait~!!!!

paris part II: getting a date in paris

"Laura, being French, seems to understand the situation somewhat better than me. She explains that French women are very different from American woman and that they unusually put up several layers of defense so the Nicolases have to fight to get then down in order to finally get her to agree to give him her phone number. In France, guys just don't waltz up to a girl and ask for her number because they will most likely get rejected. French girls make guys work for it.

Is Laura saying that LA girls are easy? I'm not easy. I'm desperate. There is a distinct difference."
-kirsten guenther

paris

i would love to work in paris for a short while. can i do that? the medical profession is a little odd compared to other professions, so not sure if i can... sarah's friend writes for a travel magazine with the "american girl in paris"-view of the city. so interesting.

"It’s not that the French are rude. They simply demand a certain level of respect. There is an unspoken dress code of perfectly polished shoes, well-knit stockings and flawless skin. Contrary to popular belief, that the French don’t demand designer labels or Hermes scarves, it’s not how much you pay for it, it’s how you polish it.

The French demand that you say “Bonjour” before you ask them for something, “Excusez-moi” if you want directions, and “Pardonnez-moi” when you bump into them. Henry Higgins said in My Fair Lady that, “The French don’t care what they do actually, as long as they pronounce it properly.” The basic rules are: Don’t butcher the language, don’t butcher the dress code and go to a butcher for your beef."
-kirsten guenther

probably it's one city where they won't look at me weird if i wear eye shadow during the day, like in in this city or in lab. ;) i wonder if french scientists at the pasteur institute go dressed in donna karan?

two days of ice skating = sore

i'm so out of shape.

i discovered coupling on kqed!

junebug

"Junebug" is a great film because it is a true film. It humbles other films that claim to be about family secrets and eccentricities. It understands that families are complicated and their problems are not solved during a short visit, just in time for the film to end. Families and their problems go on and on, and they aren't solved, they're dealt with." -Roger Ebert

it was a really funny film, with moments of extreme awkwardness, tension, head-on train wrecks and barely missed catastrophes within a family. we saw it after roger ebert gave it an "A", and i felt like an indie film. we apparently missed "happy endings", which was another movie i wanted to see.

on another note, someone asked me how i was doing, and it struck me how no one's asked me that in forever. i totally crumbled. I'm doing better now tho.

taking today to regroup and to get my life together again (can i do it in a day??)

listening to the rent movie soundtrack - nice orchestration, and it's nice to listen to different musical renditions of the same old songs I've probably listened to thousands of times. rosario dawson is, as expected, a slight musical disappointment. What i didn't expect is that i think she also affects the singers around her. it sounds like they are trying to match her beat and her musicality, and it's dragging them down with her. but other than that, the original cast members are amazing, as always.

the cast of "rent: the movie" on the today show. L to R: adam pascal, tracie thoms, anthony rapp, wilson heredia, jesse martin, idina menzel, taye diggs, rosario dawson 

for new yorkers

"All anyone in New York ever says is, 'everything's fabulous!' even if they're on Zoloft for depression" -Bergdorf Blondes

i would love to do a rotation in new york, maybe an elective in fourth year or do my internship there. maybe in chelsea?? that would be awesome. :) (i'd look for every excuse not to work and to sip coffee at joe's and go sneak off during overnight shifts to see the american ballet theatre.

"Ballet, according to a 1975 study by Dr. James A. Nicholas in The Journal of Sports Medicine. The study, which examined 61 different activities, ranked ballet most physically and mentally demanding, followed by bullfighting and then football.

Ask a ballet dancer to tell you about her injuries and the answer may well be, "Which one?"

[in a seminar to educate dancers about their health] Shocking facts: not eating enough can lead to weight gain. And advice to live by: breathe.

"We [dancers] are trained to be stoic," Linda Hamilton said. "We can dance with sprained ankles. We can dance when we are breaking up with our boyfriends. We can dance when we are starving."

Kinder and gentler is nice, but it is far from clear how much the discipline of ballet will change. And dancers are austere, competitive creatures; getting them to acknowledge their weaknesses, even for the sake of their health, requires a radical change in attitude.
"
article here.

i would love to be a doctor for dancers... orthopaedic surgery? or psychiatry for dancers to handle the stress of anorexia and competition?

 

alessandra ferri in a beautiful arabesque~

Room with a view

View from our room
Originally uploaded by jochang621.

maybe i need more optimism.

realized this after re-reading my latest entry. but maybe it's b/c i expected the worst, that i had an ok time. ;) no thunderstorms, but had beautiful weather altho it was chilly (we californians sometimes realize that it's FREEZING when it hits the 60's). the first year class mostly stuck together, and was properly initiated with four glasses of wine at one sitting. at least my cold didn't get worse. it was beautiful at the lake, we even got to boat out into the middle of the lake without capsizing (altho we came close by first packing our boat over its maximum number of people, and then climbing over each other to switch rowing).

i can't believe i'm going to be a grad student! orientation on tuesday, and classes start thurs.

being sick + being forced to participate in a graduate group overnight retreat in an area that's supposed to thunderstorm all weekend = unhappy jolene

shaun of the dead

Shaun: [trying to motivate his sales team at work] "As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team..."

[looking through Shaun's records for suitable records to throw at two approaching zombies]
Ed: "Purple Rain."
Shaun: "No."
Ed: "Sign o' the Times."
Shaun: "Definitely not."
Ed: "The Batman soundtrack?"
Shaun: "Throw it."

traffic woes

i agree that traffic here in the sacramento area is pretty bad, b/c the drivers are horrible. i know LA traffic is famous for being bad, but the drivers are at least nimble and fast and usually gauge how other drivers are going to react before they cut you off. here, they're reckless. i was literally in one guy's side view mirror point of view, and he nearly crashed into me as he changed lanes into me and i swerved to avoid him. ACK. it's so scary and hard to understand - did he not check his side view mirror?? after that, i saw a truck making a five lane change in *heavy* traffic to make this one exit. i'm also noticing more and more than people drive from a range of 90 mph to 50 mph on a 65/70 mph freeway. it's pretty insane.

slightly hungover this morning, went to ice skating class nonetheless. it's still fun. when the rink was emptying out, it was fun just skating, covering the entire rink, and practicing my spirals. when i first started ice skating, my goal was just to be able to skate forward comfortably. it's like when i started flute, my goal was to become just as good as my aunt (who has amazing tone, but is mostly self taught). i think i set really low goals for myself so that i can say that i surpass my goals. :)

i talked to a friend about life plans. f said that i should meet my future significant other at age 28. it's so complicated tho, b/c i'm not sure if i want kids before residency, or after. for f, we talked about how he had an upper age limit for his SO, but not a lower one. bad...

what would have been perfect is if i had my first kid during my PhD before third yr of med school, and then have med school change its policy so that we didn't have overnight call, and then have my second kid after residency. sigh, it seems hopeless to even think about planning ahead.

so complicated.

i think i had a big breakthrough in lab today. it seems too good to be true, i kept on rechecking my notes. now have to think about what's coming up next.

making homemade peanut brittle.

note: a big shout out to mslee, person of the week! :) hope medicine's going well. try to keep from punching out an attending, ok?

finding the tiny and elusive superior cervical ganglion is a little like doing the splits - for almost two months, it's been impossible to find, and all of a sudden, today, I'll have a 100% success rate.

woohoo~ things are looking up in lab.

before sunrise

i'd heard a lot about the movie, but never realized what it was really about. kind of dreamlike. it's a really specially unique relationship, a one-of-a-kind relationship everyone dreams about and seems so rare, but then it haunts me how every relationship in the world is just as special and just as unique. maybe all relationships are truly all the same, but then again, is it necessarily such a bad thing?

is every relationship just as epic, just as mesmerizing and riddled with sadness, just as ravishing?

a world of two people in love, reaching across cultural/gender divides and stereotypes and familiarity, and the humanity of understanding between two strangers. yet mixed with the uncertainty of unfamiliarity, awkwardness, and the urgency and sadness of the fact that they will probably never meet again. like the sadness of a slow harpischord fugue.

"If there's any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed, but... who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt. "

excited about watching the sequel -

in an interview with julie delpy:
"How has Ethan changed since the first film nine years ago?
I think he’s grown tremendously. I think he was a puppy in the first film – it really felt like that way. It’s true in your early 20s women have a certain maturity that I only realize now, and even as you get into your 30s. At the time, I thought he was a great person, but kind of sometimes immature a little bit. Now [he’s] totally not and our relationship is dynamic. Now we’re both immature."

interview with ethan hawke:
"How much of your own personality did you write into the character?
I have always seen Jesse as kind of like 1/3 me, 1/3 Rick [the director] and 1/3 Julie Delpy's fantasy man."

Street poet:
"Daydream, delusion, limousine, eyelash
Oh baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet-cakes and milkshakes
I'm delusion angel
I'm fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we're going
Latched in life
Like branches in a river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I'll carry you, you'll carry me
That's how it could be
Don't you know me? Don't you know me by now?"

"Celine: I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away." 

dancing matt

this video brought about a mixture of emotions - funny (for obvious reasons), a little sad (he quit his job to do what?), and awestruck (in exotic locales he films at). watch it here (click on "WATCH NOW")

happy labor day weekend! filled with ice skating, a possible trip to a water park, a visit to a friend's new house, and a bbq.

uh oh. i just discovered southwest now has flights to la guardia, ny. i'm in trouble. (I know jen's fear is that i'll start knocking on her door tomorrow morning ;)

baked pasta

i saw on 30 minute meals, rachel ray was spooning out this very cheesy baked pasta onto a plate, with the cheese dripping. so i whipped up some of my own - except i think my broiler was on too high, so before the cheese could melt, it literally crisp-ed (not burnt black, but it was hot enough to dry out the cheese before it melted).

missing my mom. a fuzzy picture~ 

i paid almost $40 to fill up my car today. yikes. i have a feeling we're just a few moments away from $3.00 a gallon, and I've given up, just resigned to paying that much.

an almost perfect weekend: mostly sleeping, then moments of ice skating, and a dinner with family and meetings with friends. phd life is definitely nicer, s says she can see the difference in the demeanor of my face, so different from my med school years. ;)

"One female patient filed a complaint with the state of New Hampshire after her doctor told her she was obese and needed to lose weight. The state board of medicine investigated and turned it over to New Hampshire‘s attorney general, which asked Dr. Terry Bennett to take a medical education course and acknowledged he had “made a mistake.”

Dr. Bennett says he doesn't think he had done anything wrong. "

Dr. Bennett's words: "You are running down a razor blade when you're talking to an obese patient of either gender. They wouldn't be obese if they weren't really good at ignoring reality. So, you have to overcome that mind-set and deliver the news without making somebody angry, because, if they're angry, you lose them.
...
But, if you look at the facts now, 60 percent, 65 percent, whatever number you want, are obese adults. More than 70 percent of physicians no longer address this at all, because they're looking at the same kind of mind-set and the behavior that I have gotten here."

depending on who wins, i guess it may change medical school education... it's true that a lot of people are in denial and so if presented with the facts, they may just get upset. seems like more and more, doctors are restricted to be put in a position where we're, more and more, going down the middle. i think it's a tough issue.

talk about how the male gaze truly permeates through society. (a concept that i learned in dance, gender, and history, but interesting how it comes up in law). Talking about a law in Hong Kong and gay sex.

"The laws prohibited ``gross indecency'' or sexual intimacy between men if one or both are under 21. But heterosexual and lesbian couples who are 16 or older can legally have such relations.

Under the laws, gay men who engage in consensual sodomy when either is under 21 face life imprisonment. "

(bold edit: mine) This law got overthrown by a 20 year old guy. Wow, awesome how a small young voice can make a difference for a nation.

i found a charming series on Slate magazine about an American living in Amsterdam. Reminds me of Sarah's friend, who is writing the American girl in Paris point of view -

"(This is a side note, but I find it sad that eating while walking—or worse, eating while driving—is the great American pastime. The Dutch almost never do this, except maybe with an ice cream cone. Having been here for a while, I've now decided I'm firmly on the side of the Dutchies in this matter. The notion that you wouldn't take time to slow down, sit at a table, savor your food—and, better yet, break bread with a couple of friends—seems weird to me now. And please don't start in about lost productivity and the demands of ruthless capitalism. I maintain that you can make money and also make time for a half-decent lunch.)

The larger point is this: They live much better here. They carve out cozy, delightful moments anywhere they can find them. They bring their families on candlelit, nighttime boat rides through the canals. They chat with their friends at outdoor cafes as the sun sets. They leave work by 6 every evening. And these are not special, once-in-a-blue-moon treats. This is how they live, all the time. Even in my short stay here, I've found myself drifting into various gezellig moments (involving, for instance, good food, thoughtful friends, copious pints of Heineken, and a rainy afternoon inside a bar that played only Al Green records)."

again, i'm convinced i'm stuck in the wrong city. is there a point of view that I'm missing out on, to see this dinky city as a cool place to live?

articles here.

fresh faced in amsterdam~ 

conversation:
(working title: "geography is not so cool sometimes")

c (for canadian friend): 'what's the capitol of canada?'
me: 'toronto? quebec? prince edward island? saskatchewan?'
c: 'saskatchewan is a province'

quick, without cheating, what's the capitol of canada?

funny, i got my first pickup email on myspace.com . it's from a guy who works regularly with jason mraz and gavin degraw, even has pics to prove it... apparently he was drawn to my profile b/c both are included as my favorite musicians. surprised to see that all my cousins were on myspace~

life has been feeling a bit like a rat race lately. kind of like when you buy one item online, you're never satisfied and end up buying more... (wait, not entirely a metaphor :D) jk seriously tho, all the inadequacies of life is so never ending, just feel like the only thing to stop it is to be still.

"You still the hunger of those you cherish" -Psalm 17:14

watching oprah's episode on hoarders motivated me to clean house today. so strange how problems can grow to be so big before you realize it.

i spent my night watching tv and cleaning house, while my sister is partying in downtown manhattan at a trendy party hosted by Out magazine (the premiere gay magazine stationed in NY). what different lives we lead.

some odd things going on in lab today. need to think things thru on why things aren't going as expected.

getting back into ice skating, it's really fun! i found a great place in sacramento that's really nice, i'm getting a lot of personal attention from the teacher there b/c there aren't that many people in my level. today, i went to practice with two friends from lab, and my teacher was there and he gave all of us some "pointers". he taught my friends how to skate forwards, backwards, and even to spin b/c he thought they were ready. and he was right! by the end, they were spinning even up to two revolutions. i worked on my spins too, which are abysmal. it was nice that my teacher was there, and one of my friends is going to accompany me to skating lesson on saturday.

it's fun exercising again. i realized that i REALLY can't keep up the gym thing for long - i really need to exercise thru ballet, ice skating, or something fun. i almost got talked into taking a ice dancing lesson yesterday - the teacher was wearing an olympics jacket, and everyone skating on the ice was so good. if i went out on the ice, the teacher would have been thinking how far he's fallen, from the olympics to teaching me. :P so i spared him the embarrassment (and myself) and saved my $12.

Wicked - a musical that's been so hot in NY city, we didn't even try to go see it. i heard so many things about it - that it should have won the tony for best musical, that there is a huge cult following (made up of 13 year old girls) of this musical, and people go crazy for it. i bought the soundtrack, was mildly disappointed with it, and so my expectations were both high and low at the same time. and i went and saw it. had great seats, and was immediately blown away. i've seen a lot of musicals and i'd like to think that i'm hard to impress, but wow. definitely laughed, and cried, and was moved. the musical was surprisingly deep, like the idea that the speaking animals of Oz can lose the ability to speak.

"Elphaba: So, you're saying that there are animals that have, somehow, forgotten how to speak? But, how is that possible?
Dillamond: Well, with so much pressure not to..."

and then later, another teacher who has replaced Dr. Dillamond (the last Animal professor left) says: "Now, as I was saying, one of the benefits of caging a Lion cub while he's young is that he never, in fact, will learn how to speak." it was a very powerful metaphor, esp in Elphaba's life and her journey in learning how to overcome her circumstances and to defy gravity. (am i sounding like one of those 13 year old girls who love this musical??)

my favorite part was the ending of the first act, which left me speechless (seen in the top two left pictures in the collage below). it doesn't look that impressive, but with the special effects and the music and the singing, the overall effect was breathtaking.

bottom left: Elphaba, the wicked witch and Glinda the good witch, consorting after Glinda sends Dorothy away on the yellow brick road.

bottom right: Elphaba's first appearance as a shadow in the background

top right: the original Elphaba, Idina Menzel, getting "greenified". It must have been horrible to do that every night!

Others: pictures of the original cast members Kristen Chenoweth (the role of Glinda was made for her) and Idina Menzel.

 


Elphaba: "I’m through accepting limits
‘Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know
... I'm flying high,
Defying gravity"

the original fiyero, the rebellious and sexy bad boy in wicked, a surprising casting choice of norbert leo butz. i thought he'd be cast as a munchkin than fiyero (altho his singing skills are amazing) 

an even better fiyero (joey mcintyre, altho not so sure about his singing skills but he looks more like a dashing fiyero) 

best possible fiyero (the real life husband of idina menzel, broadway original "elphaba" in wicked) 

after three weeks of research standing at a standstill, i finally made a small step forward today. granted, progress wasn't out of my own brilliance or ideas, but of coincidence... but it was really nice to have something work!

hanging out with PhD's really remind me of how they hate medical students/MDs. :P been hanging out with an old professor that I had in med school, he thought med students drunk would make us "more obnoxious". ouch, I guess they don't have a very good view of us.

forgive me, i'm in love.

my new hobby~ knitting. very therapeutic, i definitely like keeping my hands busy. i started last week, not bad huh? everyone's getting scarves for christmas this year~ 


need to get sunshades for my car. but when the temperature is 105 degrees outside, isn't sunshades just wishful thinking, that it's going to keep my car cooler? temperature going down to the 90s this week, so weird how many people are really excited about that. :P

worked at lab tonight (kinda scary b/c no one was there), worked out with s's id card while i was blocking my slides, and then watched the end of harry potter 2 with s while she was asking me every two minutes, "so who's the heir? what happens at the end?" muhahaha

wicked on friday!!! i can't wait~

i can't believe that my twin sister met jason mraz... i am so jealous!!! i guess i can always pretend that my sister in the picture is really me. :) the one guy i wanted to meet. so strange she met him after i just blogged about him, below. I know she gave him my blog URL, so jason, if you're reading this, can you save me a dance sometime?? your music really rocks my world. 

Jason Mraz's new CD is out! It's awesome - currently my favorite tracks are "Geek in the Pink" and "Bella Luna". "Mr. Curiosity" is lovely, too~

Hey Mr. Curiosity
Is it true what they've been saying about you
Well, are you killing me
You took care of the cat already

I'm looking for love this time
Sounding hopeful but it's making me cry
(Trying not to ask why)
This love is a mystery
Mr. Curiosity

just for you, jen. i know you think he's the dorkiest dork ever. but he's just so adorable. :)

 

wow, what a busy two weeks... but it's been really good. For the first half a week or so, it was a rude awakening working again, but now I've gotten kind of used to it. I found out that I enjoy being busier than being bored (I totally fall asleep when I'm bored). So like tomorrow, I'll have three experiments running at once, on top of taking a two hour break in the afternoon for lab meeting.

And after work, *every* single day, I've been out of the house... catching up on meeting with people and catching up on my movie watching. sigh. My house is such a mess, I just need to take a day off and clean all day.

Sandy says that my demeanor is so much more relaxed, being in PhD than MD. ;) It's definitely a different type of stress, a stress that is less defined b/c the goal isn't to pass, but to do *well*, whatever that means. oh well, i'll worry about that later.

an image from my life, sitting on my table. a little bit of sunshine 

i was boring myself with my own blog, so i decided to update it. ;)

i'm a PhD student! i can't believe two years have passed already. PhD is going well - slowly been getting some data, altho it hasn't been exactly smooth sailing. hopefully it'll come with time. after all, it's been barely over a week. slowly getting used to easing myself out of vacation mode... occurring slowly but surely.

excited and scared to see what the next two years hold for me...

Light in the Piazza

My current favorite musical, in the spirit of the older traditional musicals. The writer is somehow related to Rodgers or Hammerstein, and it made sense because it's written in the same style. As a review put it, lush romance has appeared back in Broadway with this musical - a familiar tale of an American girl in Italy who falls in love with a dreamy Italian boy (truly Matt Morrison is every girl's dream Italian lover), but told in a refreshing, innocent, and a passionate way. Everything about it was beautiful - the sets, the singing, even the Italian that I didn't understand.

"Say it somehow, anyway you can...
I know the sound of touch me,
I think I hear the sound of wrap your arms around me"

"Without risk, there is no drama,
Without drama, there is no aiutami [help me]
Without asking for help,
No love, no love!
So
Give me suspicion! Give me tears!
So give me shouting, that's right,
Passion!"

Two reviews that are different, but I agree with both of them:

Broadwayworld.com
NY Times

 


With Matt Morrison and Kelli O'Hara

last week, i got diagnosed with acid reflux disease. so byebye, coffee... like the cappucino like this one. ack. it sucks, but at least i know what it is - no one gave me a diagnosis for a long time b/c i presented abnormally. i really liked my doctor tho - he described everything, and made me feel comfortable about asking him questions. finally, a good doctor; up til now, i've mostly had doctors that have always demonstrated what i should NOT do as a doctor, as i've learned in doctoring class. here's to good doctors - and becoming one. 

check out jen's blog for recent updates~ including a blog i blogged on her site as a secret guest blogger. definitely packing in my last few days of summer vacation. possibly my last one, ever.

Happy fourth of July! We celebrated it as a family on the army base in Seoul, Korea - with the addition of Jiwon. It was a nice time as a family esp in my last few days here in Korea. I hope my classmates are enjoying their fourth of July as I know that they start their third years the day after - good luck! my thoughts are with you~ 

Fireworks on the fourth of July - fireworks on the army base, probably the closest I've ever been to fireworks, the noise was deafening but really beautiful. at one point, it literally burst over our heads and everyone started running. ;) 

trip to thailand

Outside of Five Island Restaurant
Originally uploaded by jochang621.

wow, what a trip!! i traveled to the small private island of ko samui in thailand, and spent a three very packed and amazing days there. met up with some med students there and traipsed around the island. second day, we took a speedboat out to Angthong National Park (a group of small pristine islands) which is about an hour away. Got horribly seasick, but still managed to snorkel a little bit, and then kayak (andy was doing most of the kayaking :D) and hike up to emerald lake, a saltwater lake. third day, we rented a motorbike and took a tour all around the island. our navigation consisted of "keep the ocean on your left". :D it was such an adventure b/c our motorbike broke down, we (or rather, andy) ended up pushing our motorbike up a hill... despite all that, we saw the most amazing viewpoints on top of a mountaintop where you can see three sides of the island, beautiful ocean views, and ate lots of thai food (thai curries for $1.50 ;). lots of good memories.

only a few more days in korea. how sad. trying to pack my days. got my bangs trimmed today at my usual place - he gave it to me for free. ;)

Me and my friends~ in our open-air hotel lobby 

my beach naptime view~ 

Angthong National Park 

our broken motorbike - what an adventure!! trying to communicate